smiling on the inside

I can actually say for the first time in well, years, that I am actually smiling on the inside. It's actually really hard to say that. Because those of you that know me, would never have thought that I was really unhappy as what I was. I was one of those people who would just put on a brave face and just keep on truckin'. It's not like my life is all that bad. I made it much worse than it had to be. And I am here to tell you that first and foremost, you need to accept that you are having issues and second, be open to ideas from your family and friends.
Now I am trying to deal with the sorriness I have inside for being the way I was. I can't imagine how my husband and children dealt with me for all of these years. I couldn't even stand myself so I am sure they couldn't stand me either. I can actually laugh at things that I used to find amusing. For instance, my kids were playing outside yesterday and they were apparently trying to dig up a dog that the previous homeowners had buried...normally that would aggravate me. I just couldn't keep from laughing at them back there digging for this dog. It's the simple things in life that I no longer want to take for granted. You never know when your time is going to be up...
Live like there is no tomorrow! :)